Come to me

Sometimes I discover how religious I am and then I dispise myself. I know that God loves me since he created me and yet I don’t act out of that love but I am often trying to earn it. As if one could earn the most wonderful gift on this earth by doing good deeds. Oh Lord I need your help. Open my heart and help me to surpass religiosity and be your child instead. Show me that I already have your love and do not have to win you over. My heart is like the heart of a little girl, Lord. Hungry for your love and it is so trusting and oh Lord, it knows so little. Let my heart grow up to be stronger and wiser than my head is. Let my heart love freely and care without pushing. I count on you Lord and know you have forgiven me. Let me remember your word and your love till the end of my days. Keep my heart soft and do not let it get bitter but let me run to you and cry in front of you. Because you made me vurnable so help me to stay like that and to remember your love in everything I do and let me love others too. -Amen

Are you finding yourself in the same position sometimes? So caught up in religion and religious activities that you totally lose sight of Jesus. Of the Jesus you once got to know and that is so far away now. In his place other things are catching your attention now, things like judging, better knowing, self-absorption and good deeds. Sounds familiar?

I just want to remind you and myself, that God is waiting for us. He waits for us to return into his arms. Not in the arms of a church or of a image we may have built for yourselves. Come back to him. The one that loved you first. The one that knows you and carries you. And you know what he is longing for? That you chose him over all these things that are tying you up. That you repent and come to him. That you are not fleeing in actions and try to gain his love.

He is giving you a invitation. The only question is if you are coming to him?

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11,28


Beauty and thankfulness

When you look around in nature you see so many things! The blue heaven against an even bluer sea. Cliffs which look as if they just broke off. Mountains that show off their majesty.
All this majesty shows the greatness of a creator. Who is it? I would call him God. A strength outside of our universe which just loves us so much and even more and tries to bring a smile upon our faces. Why should the evolution make so many different, wonderful and magical things when they do not really have a specific use? How can the evolution which tries to make everything as energy saving and useful as possible, produce such beauty? Wouldn’t that be a waste of resources? Why is everything individual? There is not a second sunflower which looks exactly the same or a second eagle whose feathers are exactly the same colour. Now why? When we start with sience, we should also look upon the impossible things that are possible. How come that everyone always wants to proof that God is there or not? Maybe because we are simply afraid. Afraid that when he is there we miss out on something or we are afraid that this God is a Monster who tries to change and I mean completely change our lives, without us wanting him to. Or we are afraid, that we believe in an imagination. So we all try to proof our point but we all fail. Because God cannot be proven or unproved.
What I know about God, is that he is the most patient Individual ever. So many times I gave up on him and said: “I can’t do that anymore, I want to leave you behind God. Because look around! Everyone who does not have such a deep relationship with you has a much better life.”

WE start to compare and argue with God why he does this and not that and we ACTUALLY believe we know better than someone who just created a beautiful universe to make us smile. How come? Maybe it is our arrogance and because God gave everyone his own will, means you can decide and God will not just use you as a Doll, he lets us leave. But that doesn’t mean he GIVES UP on you. When your world is crashing down you can either blame God or run back in his open arms. Why do we always blame God anyways? Do we believe all the good things in our life are from him as well? DO we blame (or thank him) for them?


Many times I read to be thankful and to trust in God and he will be with me, so I can feel him. But sometimes I don’t understand. It is not easy to trust him or to be thankful in difficult situations, but I once read in a book that God doesn’t says to be thankful FOR everything since that would be a lie but that we should try to be thankful IN everything.

So even when I’m not seeing the blue of the ocean right now but rather an angry, stormy sea, I am trying to find the good side of everything or other things that I can be thankful for.