Lord, show me! Show me what they mean when they say that as soon as we encounter and start living in your love everything changes and we are set free. Show me! Because I know all too well that you love me in my head. But my brain is twofaced. One time it convinces me that you are here and that your love never ends and another time it just doubts your existence all together. I want to feel your love, live in it, grow within it, share it and spread it into that world. I want to love as you love me but Lord, I don’t know how it feels when my heart can rest. How does it feel to rest in your love, to know that I am fully accepted no matter what, to see the world through your eyes. To just let go and fall into your arms. Jesus I ask you to show me how deeply loved I am and that nothing can separate me from your love. Show me what eyes can’t see and ears not hear. Show me what I am missing. Show me what is keeping me away from your love and what it is that makes me longing for it even more. I thank you Jesus that no matter what, no matter if I can feel your presence or not, you’re here, you know me, hear me & most importantly love me. Help me to get to know you, listen to you and love you out of the depths of my heart. -Amen
Do you ever feel like God is really far away from you? As if he does not keep all the promises you just read in the bible and as if his dead at the cross was just in vain. Well I actually feel this way quite often. One moment I am near to him and actually catch a glimpse of his glory but the next moment I feel so lonely and tired. Tired of trying to be something I am not. Tired of coming to Christ out of the wrong reasons all together. What could be wrong reasons you might ask, well for me right now it is everything that does not come from the relationship we have but rather tries to influence our relationship to work MY way. As you can tell I am desperate for Jesus to show up in my life and I hope you are too. Because no matter how much of Jesus we already have in our life’s I pray that we will never lose the hunger for more of him and that he meets us where we are right now. And I know that Christ never stopped loving me and coming nearer to me. Remember that poem from Margaret Fishback Powers? When we only see one set of footprints in the sand it was then when our loving Father carried us. So we might think God is really far away from us right now but actually he is nearer than you’d think.
As I read in Wayne Jacobsen’s book ‘He loves me’ I really felt like I was missing out and I hope that Jesus will change that and I will not only feel his love but taste, touch and recognize his love. That I can give forward his love and share it with the world. And that his perfect love drives out any fear I have of him being here, him changing something in my life, revealing himself and him giving me a purpose. Because he is the good Lord and he knows me better than I do. I just have to remind myself from time to time that this is a fact.